It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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