if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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