His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
