bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
