How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
