i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
