I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
