As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
