Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
