tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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