If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
