Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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