shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
