so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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