dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
