I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
