Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
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You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
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It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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