I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize