you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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