What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
