One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
