yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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