and you said cock pushups were impossible
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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