I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
