I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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