This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Acid is not a monday night drug
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
