Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
where are you?
Hypothermia
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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