Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
