i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
