k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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