No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Enjoy the penises
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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