was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize