Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
