I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
