I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
