new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
