i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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