I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
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I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
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A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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