i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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