Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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