is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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