eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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