I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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