How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize