so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
love makes seman taste better
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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