what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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