My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
