Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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