The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Randomize
