I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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