i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
