My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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