its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
