I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
