Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
