PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
