Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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where's my purse there's an important taco in it
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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